I held this view for the better part of the next decade until a random event caused enough of a stir in my thinking to make my professor's words prescient. I had to re-reconcile my idealistic but ultimately flawed viewpoint in favor of something much more realistic and nuanced and - ultimately - a position that will more likely lead to the end of abortion as birth control than attempting an outright ban. (Side note: for a primer on the effectiveness of outright bans in changing human behavior, see any history of early 20th century America.)
One night, a large group of us celebrated in a public house enjoying a rousing series of conversations. Although standards of polite conversation dictate that one should avoid discussing religion, sex, or politics, we diligently ignored these standards and eventually ended up in the rounded triangle at the Venn intersection of all three: abortion. By this point, I had further solidified my thinking and sharply honed my ability to shoot down any possible argument that this country should have legal abortion on demand. As the night went on, the crowd whittled down until just two of us remained. After a few laughs recalling the evening's ongoings, my drinking partner looked at me and shared the following:
It's been a blast talking with you all tonight, but I have a story to tell you that might put a chink in your abortion stance. A couple of years back, after the birth of my first child, my wife and I found ourselves pregnant again. We were thrilled, and couldn't wait to expand our family. Being cautious, we waited to get a confirmation, and soon found ourselves at that exciting moment when you get to hear the heartbeat. We still held it close to our vest knowing you should wait until twelve weeks until you spread the word, just in case. A couple of weeks went by, and my wife sensed that something wasn't right. We went into the doctor's office and he immediately sent us for another sonogram, and to our utter devastation, we had lost the baby. Mind you, this is a Christian hospital, so our doctor went over things ten ways to Sunday to be absolutely certain of the miscarriage. He was positive. After giving us some time to come to terms with what had happened, he told us that because of how far along my wife was, we would need to get a "procedure" to minimize any risk of damage to my wife's reproductive system. He also noted that we would not be able to get that procedure at his office or the hospital because "they do not do them there". It finally dawned on us what he meant. We spent a fair amount of time talking over the potential consequences and options, and he was very patient in making sure we understood exactly what we were getting into no matter which path we choose. We ultimately chose to accept the doctor's assessment of the viability of our child, and protect my wife's ability to conceive again. We went to a clinic that the doctor identified, and afterward, bought some wine and ice cream and got a sitter for our oldest and sat in our living room crying and holding each other. We gave ourselves time to grieve, and in time, we had two more healthy and beautiful children.
No one can say for sure what exactly would have happened if we had not had the abortion procedure done. Maybe my wife's body would have handled things in its own way and she would have been fine, but there was a reasonable chance that doing nothing would have prevented her from having any more children. I cannot imagine my life right now without all of my children, and thinking that I could have missed out on these two wonderful lives because the "procedure" would have been illegal gives me pause.The inebriation of the night put any serious thinking on hold for me, but in the weeks that followed, I put myself in that guy's shoes. What if I had been the one who had to make that choice. By all definitions of my faith, that is abortion, no different than any other. If my wife needed that procedure, and had no access to it, what would we do? Would we sacrifice the chance to have more children in order to adhere to the letter of an opinion on Catholic doctrine?
This opened my eyes to learn more...especially about the real causes of abortion. Abortion does not exist as some sort of isolated choice, but rather, it sits as a symptom in a larger web of social issues: poverty, healthcare, separation of church and state. Outside of all of those larger issues sits this core reality that the "abortion procedure" has a place in the healthcare of pregnant women of even the strictest faith, and we have no mechanism that separates procedures like this man's wife had from those who seek abortion for other reasons.
In the years since, I have gained a better understanding of the science behind in-utero human development, prayed on the Church's view of the beginning of life as well as the approach to blending science and religion that geniuses like Einstein have shown. I have also watched as the abortion rate has declined precipitously over the past 25 years all while access remains, and understand that eliminating abortion does not provide the most effective means for ending abortion, but solving the other social issues does. I would never consider an abortion for my family, and I would advise my children heavily against it. But if I hold the view that it has to be made illegal and those who pursue it punished, then I will have sentenced a number of faith-filled families to unnecessary sterility and will have denied many future souls an existence.
And there is nothing in such a point of view that I find particularly pro-life.
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